Father’s Day 2024 (Proverbs 20:7)

Title: A Father’s Integrity: Leaving a Legacy That Lasts

Scripture: Proverbs 20:7

The righteous walk in integrity—
    Happy are the children who follow them!

Message:

My dear brothers and sisters in Christ,

Today, we gather to celebrate Father’s Day and reflect on fathers’ vital role in the lives of their children and families. As we open God’s Holy Word, I would like to center our thoughts this morning on a short but profound verse from the book of Proverbs. Proverbs 20:7 states: “The righteous who walks in his integrity— blessed are his children after him!”

In this simple proverb, God’s wisdom reveals to us the incredible impact a father of integrity can have, not only on his own life but on the lives of his children and the generations that follow. When a man commits to walking uprightly before the Lord, living with honesty, faithfulness, and steadfast obedience to God, Scripture tells us that his children will be blessed long after he is gone. What a powerful incentive for every father to pursue integrity wholeheartedly!

But what does it mean for a father to “walk in integrity”? The dictionary defines integrity as “the quality of being honest, having strong moral principles, and upholding moral wholeness.” In other words, a man of integrity seeks to live consistently between his inner convictions and his outward conduct. He is the same person in private as he is in public. His yes means yes, and his no means no. He strives to be fully submitted to the Lord Jesus Christ and to align every aspect of his life – his thoughts, choices, actions, and words – with the truth of God’s Word and the guidance of the Holy Spirit.

Of course, walking in integrity is impossible to do perfectly in our human strength. Since the fall, sin has marred and corrupted man’s heart. Even the most upright father has inevitable blind spots, weaknesses, and areas of failure. Walking in true integrity requires humbly depending on God’s grace daily. It necessitates regularly confessing our sins, repenting of our wrong attitudes and actions, and relying on the Holy Spirit to transform us into the image of Christ progressively. Only in prayerful submission to God can a father increasingly manifest the holiness and wholeness of heart that Proverbs commends.

You see, “integrity” comes from the Latin word “integer,” which means whole or complete. This points to God’s design for every father – that, as he walks closely with the Lord, his inner life and outward life would become one unified whole, not fragmented by secret sin or selfish compartments held back from God’s loving Lordship. Pursuing integrity involves submitting every room of the heart to Christ, holding nothing back, and allowing Him to reorder our priorities, rewire our thoughts, and purify our desires until we reflect His holy character more and more.

However, integrity is not just about avoiding sin or putting on an external show of morality. At its core, integrity flows from a fundamental identity shift – from seeing ourselves as autonomous masters of our destiny to understanding our complete dependence on God as His beloved children, redeemed by grace. Walking in integrity springs from an ever-deepening relationship with our Heavenly Father, in which we learn to trust His goodness, rest in His acceptance, and find our ultimate satisfaction in Him alone. The more we grasp the Father’s unconditional love for us in Christ, the more we will naturally aspire to honor Him and walk in His ways.

This process of transformation requires ongoing renewal in God’s truth. As Paul exhorts in Romans 12:2, “Do not be conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” For fathers, this means continually saturating our minds and hearts with Scripture, letting its wisdom shape our worldview and align our lives. It means surrounding ourselves with godly examples and a life-giving community in the church. It means staying vigilant against the enemy’s schemes and proactively putting to death the sinful deeds of the body by the Spirit. Walking in integrity demands ruthless self-examination in God’s presence, swift repentance when we stumble, and moment-by-moment dependence on His sustaining grace.

Sadly, our world today is experiencing a crisis of fatherhood, marked by a severe lack of integrity among many men. Far too many fathers are falling short of their God-given calling to be spiritual leaders in their homes and to model righteousness to their children. Some fathers have outright abandoned their families due to selfishness or irresponsibility. Others may be physically present but are emotionally or spiritually absent because of misplaced priorities. Pornography, infidelity, dishonesty, unkept promises, fits of anger, harsh words, hypocrisy – these and other failures are epidemic even among Christian fathers. The devastating results surround us – broken marriages, resentful wives, wayward and wounded children, and widespread moral and social decay.

Behind all these integrity failures lies a slow drift from God – a gradual loosening of the Father’s loving grip on a man’s heart. Maybe it started with skipping daily prayer and Bible reading because of busyness. Perhaps it progressed to isolation from the Christian community because of secret struggles with sin. The enemy whispers lie – “Did God say? It’s not that big of a deal. You deserve this little indulgence. No one will ever know.” And bit by bit, compromise creeps in, convictions erode, and integrity crumbles. The man who once stood firm is swept along by the cultural current, pressured to conform to its values and drowning in its empty promises, all while his most precious relationships unravel.

But amid this crisis, there is hope! By God’s grace, any father who has failed can find forgiveness, healing, and the power to change through repentance and faith in the gospel of Jesus Christ. Our Heavenly Father sent His only Son to pay the penalty for our sins through His death on the cross. And He raised Jesus from the dead to offer new life to all who turn from sin and place their trust in Him. Christian fathers who have experienced this redemption now have access to everything they need for life and godliness through their union with Christ. As they abide in Him and walk by the Spirit each day, they can grow in integrity and gradually reflect more of God the Father’s faithfulness, love, and righteousness to their wives and children.

This doesn’t mean they will become perfect overnight. There will still be past struggles, setbacks, and scars to overcome. But in Christ, a new trajectory is set – a return to the ancient paths of integrity that God has designed. Through daily repentance and renewed obedience, the power of grace goes to work, making a man more and more into the image of the heavenly Father. Slowly, the fruits of the Spirit – love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control – grow and push out the old sinful patterns. Trust is rebuilt, wounds begin to heal, and a godly legacy takes shape as integrity becomes woven into a father’s character and conduct.

Looking further at Proverbs 20:7, we see that the blessing a father’s integrity brings to his children is not automatic or instantaneous but rather unfolds gradually over time. The proverb speaks of the righteous father who “walks” in integrity, using a verb that suggests an ongoing, lifelong process. Similarly, it says his children will be blessed “after him”, implying the impact of his obedience will continue long after he is gone, even influencing future generations.

This reminder is both sobering and encouraging for fathers. It’s sobering because it highlights the enduring consequences of our daily choices over a lifetime. The patterns we develop, the example we set, and the trajectory we establish in our families will likely impact our children and grandchildren for years to come. We are leaving a legacy whether we realize it or not. It’s encouraging because our labor and faithfulness are not in vain. Every decision to walk in integrity, to confess and repent of sin, to intentionally sow into our children’s spiritual growth – these investments are worth it because they will yield lasting fruit for God’s glory. Even our failures, if responded to humbly and honestly, can be redeemed by God as He makes all things work together for the good of those who love Him.

Consider the story of one of the most revered fathers in Scripture – Abraham, the father of our faith. God called him to leave his country and kindred him to an unknown land that He would show him. By faith, Abraham obeyed, not knowing where he was going but trusting in the character and promises of God. And we see God’s blessing on Abraham’s faith and obedience, not only in Abraham’s lifetime but long after he was gone. God blessed Abraham’s son Isaac, his grandson Jacob, and the 12 tribes of Israel that came from him. Ultimately, Abraham’s descendant Jesus the Messiah has blessed the entire world.

And yet, even Abraham was not a perfect father or a man of flawless integrity. At times, he lied, struggled to wait for God’s timing, and made his plans. But what set Abraham apart was his faith in God and commitment to get back up and follow Him whenever he fell. Abraham was quick to repent, realign, and obey the Lord. And this imperfect but persistent obedience was credited to him as righteousness. Abraham walked with God by faith for over a lifetime and, in doing so, became a channel of blessing that is still flowing today.

In the same way, fathers, know that your faithfulness to walk in integrity will be used by God to bless your and your children’s children in ways you can’t yet see. Stay the course, even when you stumble. Get back up, repent yourself, and fix your eyes on Jesus. He who began a good work in you will complete it in His perfect timing.

So what might it look like practically for a father to pursue the path of integrity that Proverbs holds out? What steps can a dad take to ensure that he is leaving a godly legacy? While certainly not an exhaustive list, here are ten commitments I would urge every father to make in dependence on God’s grace:

1. Love the Lord with all your heart. Cultivate your most crucial relationship by spending regular time in God’s Word, prayer, worship, and fellowship. Abide in Christ daily and seek to know, trust, and obey Him more.
2. Love your wife sacrificially. Treat her like the gift from God that she is. Seek her good above your own. Serve her, listen to her, appreciate her. Stay faithful to her in mind and body. Nurture her and help her flourish.
3. Train your children in the way they should go. Take the lead in teaching them God’s truth from His Word. Pray with them and for them. Model dependence on God and talk of Him often. Correct and discipline them lovingly.
4. Keep your word. Be a man who does what he says he’ll do. Show up when you’re expected. Fulfill your promises and responsibilities. When you fail, humbly apologize and make it right quickly. Build trust by being consistently accurate.
5. Work unto the Lord. Do your job diligently as an act of worship, knowing you ultimately serve Christ. Provide well for your family. Be generous and wise with money. Model a strong work ethic for your kids.
6. Pursue purity. Guard your eyes, mind, and heart from lust. Develop self-control. Treat all women with dignity and respect. Be vigilant to protect your marriage, family, and testimony from sexual temptation.
7. Speak life-giving words. Use your speech to bless, encourage, teach, comfort. Say “I love you” and “I’m proud of you” freely. Listen more than you speak. Tame your tongue by God’s grace, and let no unwholesome talk come out.
8. Manage anger well. When tensions arise, respond calmly and gently if possible. Extend grace and speak the truth in love. If tempers flare, be quick to resolve conflicts and restore peace. Demonstrate humility and forgiveness.
9. Enjoy life as a gift. Make the most of your days. Be present and attentive to your family. Laugh, play, explore, and unplug regularly. Teach your kids to savor God’s good gifts with gratitude and to live for what matters most.
10. Point to the Heavenly Father. In all you do, remember that you are a signpost directing your family’s gaze to God. You will love imperfectly, but He loves completely. You will lead imperfectly, but He leads perfectly. Find your sufficiency in Him and entrust your children to His care.

As we further unpack each of these ten commitments, I encourage you to read the “one another” commands in Scripture and consider how they apply to your role as a father. For example, we are called to “love one another deeply from the heart,” to “encourage one another daily,” to “bear one another’s burdens,” to “be kind and compassionate to one another,” to “submit to one another out of reverence for Christ,” and to “be devoted to one another in love.”

While these commands are given to all believers, fathers have a unique responsibility and privilege to model them in their homes. Walking in integrity as we relate to our wives and children, we paint a living portrait of Christ and His Church. We show our kids what it means to love unconditionally, serve selflessly, forgive freely, and honor God wholeheartedly. And in a world of counterfeits, our Christ-reflecting integrity points them to the one true Heavenly Father whose love will never fail them.

Living out these “one another’s” is easier said than done. Walking in integrity requires a daily dying to self, picking up our cross, and utterly dependent on God’s Spirit. Sometimes, we are misunderstood, taken for granted, or outright rejected by those we are trying to love. But this is the costliness of true Christlike character. It demands a willingness to suffer for the sake of righteousness, to absorb the pain of this world with sacrificial love, and to keep entrusting us to the father even when the way is hard.

But let us never forget the promise of Proverbs 20:7 – that in the end, this kind of integrity will bring untold blessings to our children. Our faithfulness to walk with God will not be in vain. The seeds of the gospel that we plant in tears, the acts of love offered when no one’s looking, and the prayers lifted quietly day after day will yield a joyful harvest in the lives of our sons and daughters and their children after them. Our stumbling yet sincere obedience will pave the way for them to know and walk with God themselves.

And this is the heart of the legacy that I pray every father here will leave – a lineage of faith that echoes through the generations, a heritage of men and women who know and love the Lord deeply because they saw His likeness in their earthly dads. This is a legacy that no amount of money, fame, or worldly success can equal. It is a treasure stored in heaven, where moths and rust cannot be destroyed, and thieves cannot break in and steal.

And ultimately, this legacy flows from and points back to the perfect love of our Heavenly Father. In a world that desperately needs His healing and hope, He calls and equips us as fathers to be conduits of His blessing. We have a humble privilege and weighty responsibility as His representatives in our homes.

So, as I close this Father’s Day message, I want to say a blessing to every dad joining us today. If you’re a father, whether sitting in the sanctuary or tuning in online, would you please stand up right where you are? Now, bow your head, close your eyes, and receive this prayer.

May the Lord bless you and keep you. May He make His face shine upon you and be gracious to you. May He turn His face toward you and give you peace. And may He fill you with His Spirit, strengthen you with His might, and empower you to walk in integrity all the days of your life. May your children and children’s children be blessed after you as they follow in your faithful footsteps. May your legacy bring great glory to the Father as you trust and obey Him. In the Name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, amen.

Happy Father’s Day to all of you. May God’s grace abound as you seek to honor Him and lead your families well. As your shepherd, I am here to pray for you, support you, and cheer you on. You are loved and needed, and your labor in the Lord is not in vain.

God bless you!